The issue of changing one’s surname after marriage may, at first glance, seem purely private and domestic. However, for women working in professional environments, especially in medicine and dentistry, this choice extends far beyond family tradition. It touches upon questions of professional identity, recognizability, continuity, and even patient trust. In modern dentistry, where the proportion of female doctors is increasing and social norms are shifting, the discussion of surnames reflects broader processes occurring within the profession and society at large.
A personal and at the same time illustrative example of such a choice is shared by Katie Merrick, D.M.D., a general dentist practicing at Vermont Restorative Dentistry and Alpine Family Dental in Chittenden County, Vermont. Her reflections illustrate how complex and multi-layered a decision can be, even though it is formally reduced to a simple question: to change the surname or keep the previous one.
After announcing her engagement to her partner, Mitch, last fall, Katie encountered a typical reaction from those around her. Immediately following the question about the wedding date came another, equally expected but far more complex one: whether she planned to change her surname. It is this question to which the author still does not have a definitive answer.
The upcoming marriage requires a decision that is simultaneously deeply personal for the couple and public for a doctor working in a community where their name and surname have long become part of their professional image. Thus, the choice of surname transforms into an intersection of private life and professional responsibility.
Reflecting on this issue, Katie increasingly discusses it with colleagues who are in a similar situation. In most cases, these are other heterosexual cisgender women working in dentistry. A logical question arises: is this related to reaching a certain life stage, or to the fact that the number of women in the profession is growing, while the average age of marriage is increasing?
Discussions with friends, older colleagues, and even patients reveal that the choice of surname is accompanied not only by numerous arguments for and against but also by significant external pressure. Many share their decisions from the perspective of lived experience, sometimes with regret, sometimes with confidence that the chosen path was correct. This collective dialogue underscores how emotionally and socially charged this issue remains.
The starting point for Katie’s own reflections was a conversation with Mitch about the couple’s personal priorities and values. On an individual level, her professional identity, which she has built over years, is of utmost importance to her. Katie is a third-generation dentist and the first female doctor with the surname Merrick. Her father and grandfather were also dentists, and she practices in her hometown, at a clinic previously owned by her father.
The phrase “I am Dr. Katie Merrick” holds special meaning for her, especially when patients warmly respond, “Oh, you’re Ben’s daughter.” These words encapsulate not only the recognition of the surname but also the trust built on family history and long-term relationships with the community.
Beyond the emotional aspect, changing a surname entails a significant volume of administrative work. The current surname is already integrated into the professional environment: it appears on clinic signage, business cards, medical documentation, and work attire. Patients know and identify the doctor precisely as Dr. Katie Merrick.
Retaining the surname appears to be the most convenient option from a daily practice standpoint. Some colleagues plan a surname change in advance, timing it to coincide with the completion of their studies, passing exams, and obtaining a license. The author respects such a level of organization but acknowledges that this scenario would not align with her personal life circumstances.
Realizing the limitations of the binary choice between keeping her surname or adopting her partner’s, Katie begins to explore alternative options. One such option is a hyphenated surname, which, however, raises new questions. A dilemma arises regarding the order of surnames, decisions about whether both partners should use a hyphenated surname, and what surname future children should have.
Another compromise option is the idea of retaining her own surname in legal and professional contexts while using her partner’s surname in social life. These reflections indicate an effort to find a balance between individual identity and family unity.
Ultimately, Katie and Mitch concluded that having a shared surname is important to them. At this stage, the couple is considering the possibility of choosing a new surname that would hold significance for both. In practice, this process is accompanied by lighthearted discussions and increasingly unexpected options, which only underscores the complexity and subjectivity of the task.
Although the author acknowledges that she wishes there were a universal solution suitable for all young dentists entering marriage, it is precisely the dialogue with colleagues and joint reflection that have allowed her to move closer to understanding which choice will be right personally for her.
The story of Katie Merrick demonstrates that the issue of changing a surname in modern dentistry is not merely about following tradition but rather a complex process of reflecting on one’s own role, professional journey, and values. It reflects a broader cultural shift in which female doctors are increasingly rethinking established norms, striving to preserve both personal autonomy and meaningful forms of belonging.
In this context, a surname becomes not just a name on a diploma or a nameplate on an office door, but a symbol of identity, a dialogue between the past and the future, and a conscious choice that each woman makes in her own way.
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